11 Things You Should Never Tell Your Girlfriend! #3 and #5 Will Shock You!!

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Guys are always wondering why their girls get upset at them, ‘for no apparent reason’. well this article will take you through all the silly things you guys do to piss us off! From off-putting comments to insane actions. Sit down and take notes:

1. You look really pretty today

Ahem…today????? we women cant hear anything past today you might have meant in all honesty but all we can think about is why today, don’t I look pretty the other days, doesn’t he think am pretty every other day, is it coz I changed my hair coz now my hair is black, or maybe its because I put on that weave that ratchet girl across the street had last week so am right he does notice her, you can practically see our brains do the math so if I were you id be safe and just say “Honey you look pretty everyday you don’t have to do anything to add up to your over the top prettiness true story.

2. Stop freaking out

So we are probably freaking out over what we just figured out, you do notice that ratchet girl from across the street and telling me not to freak out isn’t helping your case either,is he saying that to throw me of that situation I knew it,I cnat be having this man cheating ion me with that cheap ass….i wont have it, all this is happening in our heads but u can see through the crazy eyes that shes plotting something so you throw another bad idea

3. You look like my mother

In your tiny innocent mind you probably thought that was a complement since there is nothing more precious to you than your angel of a mum,but to her your mum is 5o isn’t she too old, are you saying am old,is it because I have this weave on I cant believe you,being clueless you would throw a “No baibe you know I love your hair all natural doesn’t matter what you have on and you know weaves aren’t sexy to me but yours looks fine” innocent, innocent man, you have just put yourself in a hole first you called her old then shes not sexy anymore do you get it now, best thing to do is probably shut up, kiss her remind her you still find her sexy.

4. Your best friend is hot! 

I don’t care if shes hot or miss universe to you I am and will always be the hottest girl in the whole world in this life and ten other lifetimes,telling me my friend is hot is probably the worst thing you will ever do,in my head your already being shady,I don’t care if your not a cheat that’s how Caros boyfriend started and see hes allover town with every Tom, Dick and Harry,so next time you tell me you met with my best friend in town you probably did not stop just a quick hi and bye I would be like “you did ooooh how is she still hot. I guess” don’t answer that it’s a death trap, instead sneer and say “shes okay”

5. Kwani you are on your periods??!

If I dint have to spent the rest of my life in jail, id slash your neck open right now just for asking me that, I admit we women tend to be a bit emotional, cracky, moody,nagging even crazy at times but we know we are not totally clueless about our behavior but the worst part is we cant help it is biological look it up and asking me that is really disrespectful especially when am not on my periods because then what are you trying to say?????

6. You are crazy…..

So I might have gone a little ballistic in the past,or even saw you look at that girl in the club and whispered,I insist I whispered something to you about it and sice you were a little drunk threw it out of proportion that’s not my fault, or we are in the middle of a fight and you call me crazy,you call your woman mad, insane or crazy I am a hundred percent sure for about 20 seconds she will go berserk break everything in sight ,scream and shout ,cry her lungs out then weirdly stop and just stare at you mind you make up all run down and I promise you that will be the longest 20 seconds of your life you don’t want to see that stay away from that word

7. Calm down, you exaggerate, I did not want to hurt your feelings, I can explain

This words make a perfect sentence when it comes to you men since your not so good at explaining yourselves you make it a point to look for the most suitable words in the dictionary to make yourselves look like you actually know what your talking about,let me break it out for you when you say calm down your making it very difficult for me to do so, when you claim I exaggerate I don’t care it’s a story we are telling or boasting to a friend you’d better be on board and be in support word by word,exaggeration or not you should know to love the exaggeration because you might just be an exaggeration when it comes to me talking sweet to my friends about you,by saying you did not want to hurt my feelings it rings dishonesty to us what else are you not telling me or lying to me so as to avoid hurting my feelings, I can explain to us that statement is an explanation itself your already guilty and not even the CJ, pun intended,{chief justice} can save you.

8. Asking a lot of questions

If you would answer them right I would not have to ask you so many of them in the first place, we do so because we tend to have a photographic memory have you never noticed how we bring back things you did 2 years ago on that specific date by now you should have known so if you made up that lie two years ago u better remember it when I ask you where you slept that night was it at Mose’s or Stephens, mind you might have said someone else’s we are always messing with your mind because two years ago we did not buy that lie…the solution email yourself that lie and keep rereading it in case I ask.

9. Are you wearing that?

What is wrong with what I have on, I was going to wear it until you said something now you’ll have to wait for another three hours for me to change.

10. Its not you,its me

I think that’s the oldest break up line since Judas kissed Jesus on the chick. You give me that I scratch your face because that only means you found someone else and since there is no reason to break up with me, you saying that only lets you out of the hook easy but all we hear is I am a total looser and I did not deserve you in the first place that’s why I have found a girl that is in the same caliber of loosers I hang out with to be with.

11. Are you still hungry? How much do you weigh???

Contrary to belief that women should eat less than their male counterparts is outdated,the reason we stop its because we are watching our weight and we know the limit so if you see me hog that pizza minutes after your done it better turn u on because am not going to stop,you ask your lady how much she weighs better be a doctor because that is where we draw the line,self explanatory full stop.

Any other comments from your bae that piss you off? Let us know below.

By @KaraniJanet.

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