CAMPUS HUNTING;CLUB EDITION

270

Fantasy-datingSeveral playing cards lie on the dirty floor, they tell precisely the
mood in the house. Am adorned in a black god papa, one that
despite its age, still possesses tales to tell. The godfather was
abandoned by the legendary Mijeledi boy. Ken is the type of person who
you want to carry around when you are going into the club, he is
smooth with words, inspires confidence and smart dressing is what he
is known for. He seems to know what he is talking about even when the
subject is foreign like a chick you know but meet with the Missus.
Yet, despite all these positive attributes, the most important feature
about him is that he is a team player. Trust me, for all who do not
fathom, team work is virtually the most important need in the club,
okey okey, after money. If one of the team player breaks out of the
team, count it as an away defeat, you are all doomed. The mission is
lost and the war ends in a defeat. Unlike Ken, Rasta man on the other
hand is not known to hold these ideals of a team player close to
heart; he often attacks as a lone ranger. He reloads with unimaginable
ammunitions; several kingfishers and snapps. He is renowned in
attacking unsuspecting civilians. His accuracy on the sniper rifle is
however not known to be too impressive. He is a fanatic of the Darwin
theory and is known to attack the weakest of the prey. Instead of
using these agrarian tactics it is imperative to horde in as a force.
Attacking as a team increases the chances of annihilating the opponent
and their consequent submission. A team possesses the ability to
reload with increased efficiency and range; they can also use special
bullets like Jameson and sometimes Smirnoff when the pocket is not
well lined. Further, attacking as a team increases the reload speed,
after all the more the pockets the more the ‘big ones’ (thousands
hehehe).
In the creation of a formidable team, there is a need to have an
enforcer. This is the psyche person; he often rumbles the words like
‘eiheiheieh what’s up, what’s up, what’s the plan’. This person should
be tall and should be intimidating. He should always tread with his
shoulders held high, and is in many cases the identifier of potential
targets. He is the equivalent of a scout in the battle field. It is
not necessary for the person to have big features, however, a bigger
than usual head is always an added plus. Then there is the cavalry,
this is where most Kenyans belong, these are the foot soldiers, their
work is to approach after the signal and they do so in stealth manner.
If they move in to quickly, the opponents might get startled and
rattled and words such as ‘unataka nini, nangoja mtu’ might be heard
in the deafening sound of ‘twenzetu’ in the background. The foot
soldiers are responsible for the transportation of the ammunition from
the bar fridges to the vulnerable stomachs of the opponents. So the
next time that you’re in the club, take a more tactical position.

by slither bee