I AM CHRISTIAN (NOT)

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NAFULA’S DIARY………

proud-christian(Lecture Theatre at noon)

Almost a month has passed without making an entry here. It’s been three weeks but so much has happened it feels like I have lived a whole year in these three weeks.

-Dave finally came through. I had expected an orientation, a girl who was well acquainted with the ‘geisha’ business to show me the way. Turns out I’m the pioneer; Dave alleges that the idea of a companion for his friends struck him for the first time when he saw me. Over the past three weeks I’ve met a Ugandan, a British Somali and a guy from Bostwana. I’ve been to Nakuru, Kisumu and Mombasa. I’ve made money that I would have easily turned down because at no point did it feel like I was on a job. I was paid for having fun. The notion of my task being one of entertaining men sounded dreadful but I learnt the secret to the job early enough. As long as I was enjoying myself and was genuinely happy so was my partner. Joy seems to be infections, oozing out of one person and finding its way to the next.

-My school work has been neglected. Results of some CATs we did came out and I’ve barely made the half mark. This should bother me but it doesn’t and it has nothing to do with the job. Sure, I’ve missed a class or two or failed to study because of the job but I’ve been questioning if I’m cut out for a Law degree for a long time. I think the only reason I’m still in Law School is because I don’t know what else I could do. Once I figure that out I think I shall pack my bags. The job has made me certain of one thing though, I want to travel.

-Angela and I have become distant. I’ve been withholding things that I would usually tell her without second thought. Details that might sound unimportant to a passerby but Angela would know they mean a lot to me. I don’t know why I have been doing this but finding out the mutuality of the decision pained me. I found out from a classmate that Angela had secured an internship opportunity at a Law Firm she had been dreaming about for the longest time. I have not confronted her about not telling me; if our friendship is worth anything things will fix themselves. Plus, I’m not just the victim.

-I came back from Nakuru Saturday afternoon. Feeling well rested I was up early Sunday morning and making pancakes from breakfast. I wasn’t exactly in a cheery mood as I’d been pondering on school and my friendship with Angela. When Rachael invited me to attend church service with her I accepted her invitation. I was feeling lonely and I thought some company might help, only, I think I embarrassed Rachael.

After the singing and sermon was all done Rachael led me to a group of her friends. We had tea then everyone introduced themselves. After stating my name, the moderator asked me whether I was Christian.

“Er…yes, I am but I don’t go to church much.” She gave me a polite smile and with a nod of her head the introductions continued. Something, I cannot explain what, came over me and I briefly excused myself before interrupting the speaker, “I’m sorry. I lied. I am not Christian. I only say I am to avoid conversation or to please people. I’m tired of lying. I won’t lie about who I am.” The moderator still had the plastic smile on her face and I glanced at Rachael; she looked troubled, embarrassed, hurt. I felt free. I smiled, gave a low bow and went back to my room.

BY ESTHER KARIUKI

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