#FlirtyWednesday 12 Reasons Why Your Campus Bae Is Not All That

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(Last Updated On: March 25, 2015)

You are in campo and believe you are in complete and utter love. Your ‘wifey’ as you call her, is all you think about. She is the first person you text and the last person you speak to. Well in this article, we want to look at your relationship from the glass half full aspect.

1. Campus Baes have endless drama. They will get mad at you for things you have zero control over. This one once asked me; “Why is there girls in your course unit?” I had to apologize for that as if I am the academic registrar…?

2. She doesn’t know how to cook or do laundry. When she comes to visit you, the best you are getting from her is sex. It’s the only thing campus baes have to offer. Yet we offer them love, transport fare back, our time and our food. They can’t cook for sh*t. They can’t even help out with your room chores or ironing your clothes.

3. Most Campus Baes drink like their fathers. Back then, they used to cook like their mothers, but not anymore. The only thing she will instantly accept for a date is if you assure them it’s to a bar. They hate the conventional locations. All they want is to drink. It will even be worse if her friends tag along. DISASTER!!

4. They use their pees as the reason why they can’t have sex. You call her over, she agrees to all the foreplay and as you get to ‘the fruit’, she exclaims; “I am on my pees…” When a campus chic tells you she’s on her period and still thinks she can come over. Kwani alidhani??

5. Campus Baes are players. They have no true love. They will always assign a certain role to each of their boyfriend. There’s one responsible for the sex and orgasm department. There’s another responsible for refreshing her wardrobe. There’s another responsible for her Friday Night fun. So, which one are you??

8. She claims to be God-fearing yet lead a very misleading lifestyle. So she makes out with other girls, dances on the table and goes lower than low on the dance floor. Sunday morning she also didnt make it to church fifth time in a  row because of a ‘killer hangy’. Hmmm….

9. She will kill you on a dance floor with their crazy dances mimicked from Jamaican ladies. You dancing with a Campus girl and she intros a dance moves with a clap then goes under very fast.

10. Campus Baes will always expect you to buy them airtime and MBs and will still have the audacity to beep you even after you do this. So what is the airtime for? And they care less that you both depend on the tiny pocket money your mum gave you.

11. Campus Baes are addicted to their smartphones. If your campus girl is on a phone while on a date, then she’d better be calculating how much the food she’s ordered is.

12. Wherever you go, she knows a guy there. You walk into a club, restaurant or even funny local somewhere in Kahawa Sukari and she lives in Rongai but still knows the bouncer there. How does she know all these dudes?????

So, like the question raised in the beginning of the article, is your campus bae really all that??

By @cynthiatuts

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