The weekend was off the chain: Granted. You probably went HAM with all the road trips, club hopping and all. But you forgot one major detail; your assignment is due.

What and how do you get away with this without getting in trouble?

Over the years, people have tried to get away with not clearing assignments in vain but I have found the perfect excuses to save you from the wrath of the professor:

1. In absentia

How can you have not done work if you never knew it was given?? Claim that you were absent when the assignment was given. Most lecturers barely remember who was in class the week before. Depending how strict the lecturer is, and your record in the class, they should understand and give the assignment.

2. “My bag was stolen”

To play this card right, you must be certain you don’t live anywhere close to the campo. Say you live around dangerous areas of Kenya, eg Githurai. And just as you were getting on a matatu to get to school, assignment ready in hand, a thug took it! Simple!

3. “The computer crashed!”

Most assignments these days are handed in in form of print outs and CD’s. Tell the professor that your computer crashed and you did not save your work. You can also blame it on the printer or flash drive. Thanks to technology, a whole new spectrum of excuses has been born.

NB: The computer crashing is an actual serious problem that affects hundreds of students annually!

4. Play the sick card

You better give this excuse looking groggy to actually sell it. The I was so sick I couldn’t do my assignment should be convincing. Claim you were experiencing bouts of fever, and hallucinations. Lol. As if that would work…. All the same, this is a sure excuse to get you out of trouble.

5. Volunteer and co-curricular activities

The drama festivals are ongoing and you could use this as an excuse. Use the fact that the drama club spends hours to rehearse to your advantage. Explain how an important upcoming basketball game needed you to practice until the wee hours of the weekend and you couldn’t complete the assignment. Use your talent to cover your ass!!

6. Honesty is the best policy….. sometimes

Well, this point is many times overlooked. Your professor might actually respect you more for this. Instead of using the usual bombardment of excuses, use this one when you are feeling overly sincere and desperate. You may spice it up by promising to work on an extra credit assignment.

These are the various excuses different students told me about. Do you have any others we can use? Please let us know and help your fellow students out!