versus (1)KU VS JKUAT

Um…they said like father like son…but I think there’s a big difference between Jomo Kenyatta and Kenyatta the son. Yeah, am talking about the difference between JKUAT and KU. Most notable, one is in Nairobi and the other is not..oops!!! Anyway, our first round is KU staged against JKUAT…You be the judge (I meant judge, not patriot)


Nick Name          : JUJA BOYZ or jus’ JKUAT (pronounced as JAY’KAY’YOU’HURT)

Location               : Juja (near Thika but so faaar away from Nairobi)

Brag point           : The new swimo

FB page                                : Diary of a JKUAT student

I will try as much as possible to be gender sensitive here where I’ll use boys to refer to males and the handful females- no offence!!!Um…located in Juja centre (barely a town), JKUAT boasts of chops and smart dudes with scary Engineering courses notably; Financial Engineering (hehe, is this the course taken by those guys who manufacture chumz at DeLarue? Just askin’).  Folks here have the best accomodation in Kenya and maybe even East Africa; lots a cool apartments (not hostels) surround the skool via it’s so so many gates. Some 1 bedroomed cribs even go for as low as 5 Geez per month. Hehe, but the school hostels are just so ol’ skool with Hall 6 being the better one of the shacks. Talk of Hall 6, a male hostel full of KU chics, don’t ask me why (This is Juja Boyz man!!!). The illest hang out joint around is Club Straight where all the boys go out for drinks and footer. The other pack of HELB beneficiaries prefer Senate which is a Hotel-Pub combo. Hehe,as for the rest, they prefer “Kwa Maggie”..word is out that she has the best keg in Juja!!! Others prefer the Student Centre which is more of an outdoor raev joint and easy access to the hostels. I think these guys have the best hpuse parties in Kenya,hands down!!! Mad music, imported chics, rooftops and cribs…The campo is divided (as usual) into various zones: Gate A, Gate B n Gate C guyz. Gate A is more populated and you know well how populous areas are. Gate C is for more average students i.e hapa chapo ni ashu (Sheng’ word for 10bob…a Whiteman would think I’ve misspelt ‘her shoe’ n yet it’s Juja Boyz we talkin about). Gate C nae ni ya masonko i.e the mean price of chapo is Sh  18.72 rounded off to ksh 20 with the size per chapati being equal to x and being the size of a Gate B chapo.[This is where your reading ends if you are under 18] Even though KU has produced the best actors and comedians, JKUAT beats them at pornstars in the famous ‘vimeo porn’ that even marveled the Nigerians. Good or bad? You be the judge.


Nickname            : KU

Location               : KU, just KU (half way between Thika and Nairobi but mathematically near Nairobi)

Brag point           : Post Modern Library (escalators and lounge)

FB page                                : Its Only In KU

I will try as much as possible to be relationship and alcohol sensitive. Here,unlike JKUAT, most guys have more than one chic coz they are really there in numbers. Those that fail to impress are gladly exported to Juja, fact. The alcohol part starts with their student Annex (studiez) which allegedly restocks thrice in one night. Plus the place is located closer to the hostels for easier transit of ‘happened’ guyz to their hostels. Away from that, the campo lacks momos. Weight is lost through walking, the campo is just too big, from the gate to a hostel is a 30 mins walk and a 5 minute run for a pressed jamaa,8 minutes for a thief, 10 minutes for Kipruto and 20 for the rest. The best hostels are the newer Nyayo 5 and 6 which are individually gated and with ovens in their kitchenettes and marble floors. Accomodation outta school is far much expensive than Juja with bedsitters costive around 7k upwards. But KU is the biggest client of Ampexx Limited i.e. woofer zote KU zinafanana !!! The campo has limited and ever slow and clogged wi-fi (but tunangojea ya serikali soon). Word is out that KU has equally long queues like those of Tharaka Nithi coz the campo has intakes like every semester. The best hang out joints are Club Makuti in Kahawa Shuge or others prefer to invade the JKUAT infested Thika Clubs. Their house parties are just average with routine interruptions from caretakers and housekeepers. Swagwise, ati their current trend is dudes hitting the famous Burundi gym (20baab per day plus lotsa uji and cassava), as for the chics weekend travels to their ‘uncles’ is a must.

Verdict: You be the judge    BY Slither Bee