With the rise of domestic violence cases in the country, in just a span of two weeks, many are forced to wonder or even ask the question what really goes wrong in these troubled relationships? Where does all the abuse start? Do we blame it on society or ourselves for not knowing and understanding our own rights?
In two weeks, the nation has witnessed one woman from Lang’ata in Nairobi county, expectant, who was beaten up by the husband almost to beyond recognition on accusations of stealing and another one in Thika, who was like a prisoner in her own home and a baby popping machine for almost twenty years.
You might just ask yourself what are the women in Kenya thinking? Surprisingly for most, it starts at the campus level. Growing up and being exposed to the opposite sex naturally results in an attraction to an extent that you want to spend the rest of your lives together but some of the unavoidable circumstances come into play.
For a lady who grew up seeing her father knock the sense out of her mother, she might believe that it is only right for women to be treated in that manner. Others believe in the hope that one day their men will change and become better boyfriends or husbands. For others, out of illiteracy, they are not aware of their domestic rights and even their rights as women and therefore the men take this as an advantage. Many ladies in campus are exposed to violent boyfriends and they still stick around. In an exclusive interview from a lady in daystar who was in an abusive relationship for two years tells that some of the reasons that make girls stick in such situations include:
- PEER PRESSURE
Many of the ladies in campus succumb to the pressure of getting into relationships immediately they join campus. This is because most of the events they attend have their friends come with boyfriends and to most it only sounds more interesting or cool as they say when you tell others that you attended an event with your boyfriend. Hence just the status of being in a relationship makes them stay.
- LACK OF ENOUGH SEX EDUCATION
When girls join campus, they all come from different educational backgrounds, both from homes and schools and therefore they all have different sexual orientations and many fall to the prey of learning in the job. Their friends push them to feel that a relationship is nothing without the sex and therefore every time they fight or argue with the boyfriend they think sex is the solution.
- FINANCIAL STATUS COMPETITION
With many of those you are in campus with being your age mates there tends to be a lot of competition on who has what or who gets what money from whoever. Girls most of the time, solely depend on their men to provide and this is even before marriage. With this, the men take advantage, feeling like they can treat you as they wish because they are the ones providing your up keep.
- DRUG ADDICTION.
For most, they stay because they are already drug addicts and with the man, they know they will never miss a dose of their best medicine so they suffer in the name satisfying their crave for the different drugs.
- FAMILY BAGGAGE
Some of the girls in campus already have a lot of trouble from their own homes and going to school is always their way out. But getting to school they find themselves all alone again and they end up seeking refuge in anyone who would lend a shoulder to cry on. This means that they never take their time to learn the person and also understand their own needs. Most get caught up in abusive relationships and figure that perhaps it is better than what they were experiencing in their own homes.
So if you know someone in an abusive relationship, think twice before accusing them.