WHAT LECTURERS DO TO ENSURE FULL CLASS ATTENDACE

cagayan-de-oro-teachers-examTo me, Monday marks the beginning of a series of weak days, apart from Friday when I always transform my Monday Blues into a Bluemoon Vodka. Hate it or love it, Bluemoon is vodka like any other and they all came from Russia. Then came this Monday morning when we had a CAT at 7am and this meant attending Monday classes was mandatory (as mandatory as Arsenal losing the EPL in the last minute). Anyway, I fikad to the bus stage na tumezoea kulipa ashu hadi chuo then wale wasee wa SACCO wakaamua kuongeza fare bila reason…”Nkt! Unatulipisha mbao Kwani kuna lecturer anafunza hapo ndani?” some random comrade shouted to the conda. Then some other crazy one (definitely not me) just shouted, “Wasee, si tutoe ashu kila mtu tununue fuel tuchome hizi matatu!” Talk of the new version of the infamousconda joke “Kama uko na kumi si ununue maindi ukule ukitembea!!” I couldn’t join in the incitements coz I hadn’t brushed and apparently the PK hawker overslept coz his ‘bedminton’ match simply went to extra time. Then came the corrupt corpse (oops! meant ‘cops’ eff my autocorrect) who demanded a golden handshake from the now stressed conda. It hit me that the country is facing an economic turmoil yet the gova can easily legalize and the ‘handshakes’ and tax them heavily (more than beer). Then came the good part when the matatu overtook the lecturer’s old Volvo which had a puncture. I was all hails for the nail that helped me buy more time to draft my mwaks and recruit various ‘exam-mates’

Moments later…

The lecturer arrives to an astonishment of how the class was so fully packed. “The CAT was a hoax, i just wanted to have a full class today” Busted!

by slither Bee

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