X-Men_Origins_-_Remy_LeBeau Mwanaume ni effort, mwanamke ni pivot na mtoto ndio load!!!
Um, have you ever been ‘handwad’ by thugs when walkin with your chic n
u can’t pull a superman stunt?(or simply a Makmende, for relevance
purposes!). Here is some ‘lil finding that I observed in my campo
which literally has more chics than dudeys (including the VC- Vice
Chancelloress). Chics with Luhya boyfies are lucky in times of danger
coz their ‘obohos’ will fight the thugs thus making full use of
obusuma (roughly translates to energy giving food but taken in
abundance, for this case only) Luhya dudes rarely chicken out!!!…Other
chics prefer Kalenjin ‘boyos’ (swag name for an athlete with Reebok
Sport shoes n an Attitas track suit). These jamaaz will leave their
chics and run for help…and the help is guaranteed to arrive in,
mathematically, less than 3 minutes in a distance less than 2kms.
Chics with Luo rarely get mugged in the streets coz maybe they are
driven in a ‘chauffeured mini Hammer’ (aka Probox/Succeed)…Hey, not
all of them drive, kuna wale wa Gor wenye si hutembea nao kutoka City
hadi Railways: these ones will protect their chics by simply taking a
short sprint and then launch African Grenades on the thugs!!! No
wonder most of em are ‘stoners’! Still on jang’os, I overheard one of
em complaining to the IMAX officials that hez tired with their movies
and that they should start showing series and charge one episode at
the price of a movie.
Mombasa is so full of Italianos…and Nairobi is so full of Chinese
Ching’ Chongs. The Government should swap the population by replacing
the Italianos in the coast with the Nainese (a Chinese who came to
build Thika Rd but now prefers Nairobi to Beijing). At least with more
Chinese in the Coast, there will be less dogs and this means the
university chics will go back to their men; problem solved? Elsewhere,
other campus chics are studying hard…um, I mean studying their hustles
well. They are now tired with getting Phds and are now pursuing MBAs
(Phd- Pretty Huge Ds and MBA- Married But Available men)

Why do most drinkers mix their vodka with Coca Cola? Perhaps it’s coz
of dilution but I kinda differ with them. It’s making the drink even
more concentrated coz my Primary Science teacher told us that Coke
contains caffeine which is a drug. So, can I really conclude that
mixing vodka and coke isn’t a dilution process? Anyway, most
Tanzanians are migrating into Kenya just coz miraa is very legal here
and very illegal in their land. They have even nicknamed Meru as
‘Amsterdamu’. Getting the Al Shabaab is very easy…just arrest all
Somalis who are Arsenal fans, call them The Gunners . Oh, and one more
thing, eff Arsenal!!!


More Articles for You

South African Sho Madjozi raps in fluent Swahili

Kiswahili language has gain momentum. Countries not only in East Africa use swahili but the language has been adapted even …

Huddah Monroe Rise to fame lands her in LA magazine

Also living in the here and now is Huddah Monroe, a beauty entrepreneur who shot to fame when she appeared …

Model Amber Rose claps back to those who lined her up in the list of hoes

A viral list went out in social media. The list contained a list of women in the American industry whom …

What you need to know about the upcomimg National Census 2019?

Kenya as a country does population census after every 10 years. This time round it marks the first census to …

Are you a fan of burgers? Nairobi Burger Week is here with us.

The 3rd Annual Nairobi Burger Festival kicks off this weekend with a record number of restaurants, over 125 outlets in …

Diamond Platinumz Secret Daughter

Diamond Platinumz is one musician who has kept netizens talking everytime something pops up. Diamond has over the years been …