6.25 a.m.: Email alert; an email from Elle, your professional astrologer and friend.
Four days and I’ve heard nothing from Dave. I was sure he would call me on Friday(which turned out to be quite an uncomfortable day) and when he failed I had no doubt that he would do it over the weekend. He didn’t. His silence left me in a disappointed, almost depressed, state: just going about life with no excitement, well, the events of Friday night being an exception.
My depression spells are quite something, I can’t remember what I was going through when I signed up for astrological readings but I remember it was a time when I was feeling blue. I haven’t read any of the messages from the astrologer but when her email woke me up today I decided to read it. Apparently the astrologer had had a premonition about me and had felt compelled to alert me:
Nafula, I perceived that a few days ago you were under some stress and felt a little panicky. This was a powerful feeling and it distracted you, you were unable to feel rooted in the present…Deep inside your conscious there is an imbalance between your desire to seize the opportunities to transform your life with an unexpected gain of money, meet the man you need in your life, and your currently passive stance.
I know such messages are automated but as I read I’d pause and make out if it fitted my situation. The panicky feeling was me waiting for Dave to phone, checking my phone every two minutes for any sign of him, switching off the phone in frustration then switching it back on with suppressed hope of finding that Dave had tried to reach me. Maybe the man I need in my life is him, Dave. My passive stance was me just sitting there and doing nothing, I should have reached out to him, called him.
I read on, the message talking about my Transit being near. Transit being some grand moment when I would break even and have all of my heart’s desires. The astrologer felt that I was still not convinced that my transit was soon so she decided to do a tarot card reading to confirm this. A tarot card reading using the Marseilles deck of Tarot cards.
8.45a.m.: “Morning Nafula,” I’d just finished the interpretation on the Wheel of Fortune card and was onto the Bateleur card, when my roommate startled me and I realized how engrossed I had been in the reading. I’d been reading the astrologers message for two hours. I greeted Rachael then watched her as she took out her Bible in readiness for her daily morning devotion.
I felt ashamed.
1.30p.m.: Angela and I went for lunch at the mess but food was over so we opted for sodas instead. We bumped into the fourth year, Kevin, who had invited us for a party in his room last Friday, at the tuck shop. We said hello but he would not look me in the eye; still embarrassed over his drunken rant that night.
11.00p.m.: After a night of movies and snacks with Angela I felt quite myself again. I did not think of Dave the entire night. After Angela left the room I grabbed my phone and unsubscribed from Elle’s emails. Depressed or not, sorcery is not a path right for me.
BY ESTHER K