Strategies to Survive the Walk of Shame

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So you’ve probably woken up between the sheets of a snoring stranger’s bed and suddenly remembered the events that ensued the previous night. The worst part is the fact that you made a fool of yourself and now you are a hot mess. However, the morning after pill is not your only dilemma and planning an escape across campus becomes your biggest challenge. Whether you like it or not, you will have to devise a strategy for that walk of shame and avoid the notice of snoopy comrades. So here are a few strategies to avoid the shame.

Leaving Early

If it’s the weekend, people are probably too wasted, blacked out and sleeping in, how convenient! Many people have taken advantage of this opportunity, leaving as early as 4 am for their big escape. If you are lucky, you’ll also manage to escape right under the nose of the snoring stranger.

Carrying extra clothes

The first thing that sells the walk is the outfit from the previous night. Never mind the fact that the heels suddenly feel heavy and you’re walking barefoot. If you love to look good at the party resort to carrying an extra outfit just in case the heat of the night takes over. However, for some this is too much of a burden, so they just carry an extra top to give them a different look.

Washing up

Oh yes, the all too familiar terrible morning breath and blotched mascara is a sellout. If you had your face caked and really got wasted, you’re probably a hot mess in the morning. So the first thing you should do is clean up well for that fresh look.

Leaving late

If you passed out and woke up at noon, it probably isn’t a good idea to leave immediately. I mean considering the fact that everyone saw you in that ‘kastate’ last night, it’s not necessary to let them fill in the gaps of all your romps. So leave a little late, pretend you had just come for a visit or make up a better excuse.

Start a shuttle service for ‘walkers’

Larry Madowo would probably classify this as a first world problem. Kellyann, a University of Michigan student saw a business opportunity disguised in the walk of shame. This was because she had gotten tired of constant calls to pick her friends after their escapades. She came up with the ingenious idea to start a shuttle service to pick up students and avoid the walk of shame. Let’s just say her smiling all the way to the bank is an understatement.

Nevertheless, confidence is crucial for that walk of shame. So if you’re thinking of sneaking around like a dead beat dad, don’t. Neither should you run around like a fool, unless you have the speed of a Nairobi hawker, just walk confidently. Whatever your strategy is, just know someone somewhere will always notice your walk of shame, this is campus!

By Her

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