Ten of the Dumbest Pick Up Lines

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(Last Updated On: September 15, 2014)

10:”I’m sorry, were you talking to me? -No?-Well then, please start.”Okay, so perhaps this is not as offensive as some crotch references, but it’s kind of awful and a bit pathetic. If this is the only manner in which you can start a conversation, well, go home cause you’re drunk, moron.

9. “You don’t need a bodyguard. You need a booty guard.”This is stupid. Really stupid. And you’ll look stupid saying it. The end.

8. “You have something on your butt. My eyes.”Um, if you walk up and tell a girl she has something on her hind quarters as a pickup line, you’re doing this pickup thing all wrong,And if you’re following that up with the fact that you’ve been Skeevy McSkeevster about staring at her ass, there’s a good chance you’ll never see it outside of the bar, clothed or otherwise. Maybe wait ’til the second date to start revealing your Neanderthal ways.

7. “Can you give me the directions To your house?”So there’s this crazy thing called stalking, and unless you want to be categorized as that kind of creeper, maybe you should just stick to the crotch references because the whole “what’s your address, pretty thang” may sound like a good come-on in your head, but in reality, it just sounds like it’s restraining order time, stranger.

6. “There are 206 bones in the human body. Want another one?”Uh, gross. Don’t offer us your “bone,” or any other variation on the item, unless they’ve made sure to welcome such suggestions. And by that I mean don’t offer someone the D unless you’re sure they won’t kick you in it because you’re a creepy stranger offering them your junk in a bar. Because honestly, guys, if you offer a random girl in a bar your “bone,” she has every right to make sure it’s not working well enough to ever come to fruition.

5:”I make more money than you can spend.”Uh, first of all, all this does is scream bull. Also, as a side note to your bull, it is prudent to understand that while there will indeed be some vapid person who bites with this pickup line, the majority of women are not going to find this display of stupidity intriguing, even in the slightest. But way to assume that women only care about money.

4: “You’ll do.”All I can think of when I see this pickup line is, “They’ll do, pig. They’ll do.” And lines from Babe,a children’s movie about a pig, should never be used as a pickup line, ever.

3. “I’ve got a boat.”And she has mace. I’m sure you’d like to see that almost as much as she’d like to see your (nonexistent) boat.

2. “If you like this tip, you should see the other one.”So, when hitting on a bartender, or a waitress, or when showing off your money skills to a chick in a bar, it is never a good idea to follow up a tip for service with a tip about your genitalia, because gross.

1. “So, how many kids do you have?”This is not charming. This is not cute. It is not even a little bit endearing. It , however, makes you sound just a wee bit like you’re an ass.

DO NOT USE ANY AND ALL THE PICKUP LINES YOU MAY COME UP WITH.They never end up well,trust me.

By Vix.

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