The Thirstiest Hoods in Nairobi

With this being Thirst Week at Varcity, we just had to find the thirstiest hoods in Nai coz we all know they are there. They chill at the same spots and anytime a girl is feeling down, just pass through these hoods and you will feel much more confident. HAHA!

Here are some of the thirstiest hoods in Nai;


They are usually really cute, but do nothing about using their charms to their advantage. They make plots as a group and you can find them in places like Tamasha Karen for those willing to spend. They are middle class but among them their also some rich kids who went to school in Breaburn and later USIU. they frequent clubs in LA , Rafikis and 1824 and are always in their mums or dads borrowed car. Most of them go to CUEA, MMU or JKUAT Karen.  They normally fake their accent to get the girl, however once they take you to their mum’s house as a funga, its only downhill from there. They mostly roam around Galleria and can be heard talking about the latest sneaks and video games. For a date they normally take the girl for Safari walk at the National Park.

Club Legend in Rongai



They will always bring their hood in every conversation, just to remind  you they are from the posh area. they’ll come strong at you, get your number, follow you in every social media page you got, make sure to tag you in every picture there in with some celebrity, or some expensive toy, so you’d know your privileged to have them in your life. They’ll take you to nice places, their parents massive house and wine and dine you with the finest delicacies. his ideal date is picking you with his dads Merc , filled with his friends drinking Jameson and take you to Tamasha Karen or even drive to Skyluxx and Hypnotica. At this time you probably  think you’ve hit the jackpot, however these dudes are playas!!  He’s already hit on every girl you meet. So do make sure NOT to get pregnant with these Karen guys.


The Mafisi Sacco in this group are mostly Indians and mixed race Arabs and so the ladies love them.  6 out of 10 have relocated from Mombasa and so they usually don that Swahili accent that is so sexy. They party as a group mostly in their borrowed cars at the Oilibya outside as you drink your Guarana from the car while he chews his miraa and the occasional kush.  They are the least romantic but his face is too pretty to notice. You will probably wake up the following day to realize the house he took you to is his friends and not his and everyone knows umechipoiwa. Although most are in business, they mostly school in Kenya Mass and RTI and don’t expect a call back after a one-night-stand since most of them are there for the thrill not the relationship, they still consider their hood the illest since start up celebrities live there but move as soon as they hit.

The famous chill spot at Oilibya, South C.
The famous chill spot at Oilibya, South C.


They are probably youths who come from Thika to Nairobi for hustle, in campus or just got their first pay cheque,their look is ish ish , and can never be seen in cars for anything so beware to avioid those six inch when he asks you on a date you’ll probably be javing the whole time. If they have cars, are borrowed or hired for the weekend. A typical  date is taking you to Garden city, buying you a Flirt Vodka at Nakumatt and taking you to his bedsitter or one bedroom to chill. They can be spotted in TRM, Tortillaz, Maxland or Natives and mostly school in USIU, Zetech, KU,KCA and NIBS.

Tortillas IQ along Thika Road
Tortillas IQ along Thika Road


Mostly are from Asian mwitu and if not they pretty live in hostels , for our Asian brothers their pretty hot and when it comes to cars they can never go wrong since their dad, uncle or  grandpa owns a car dealer empire somewhere. They get the girls living in the nearby hostels and can always be seen in Asmara smoking shisha and eating spicy foods with them girls. As for the dudes living in them hostels they’ll settle with kwa sue hapo Kampala couch but when HELB comes through they can be spotted in town, with the trendiest clothes drinking brown bottles. Ama in Westy with that Jameson that they have all chagaad to get, now the whole night they’ll use the drink to attract the girl.

Do you agree with our selection of thirsty hoods? Let us know below.

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