UON BEDBUGS

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#Mention University of Nairobi and the first thing that comes to mind is, yes you’re right, COMRADES POWER! So strong is this ‘power’ that even the permanent UoN occupants, bedbugs, have pledged allegiance to this cause. And in the true spirit of comradeship, the bedbugs seem to have made a blood oath to the students, “With you till graduation do us part”.

Even as the students were told to vacate the university premises late last year due to the riots, the bedbugs failed to heed to the VC’s circular, opting to stay in their mattresses. This only proved that the students were the sojourners, while them, permanent residents. In fact, they cited unfair treatment and witch-hunt by comrades and the administration and vowed to take to the streets since their rights were being violated. Speaking with journalists at a press conference on January 3rd, their spokesman Kunguni Mkuu said, “We cannot accept such unfair treatment. We are also living creatures just like the rats and cockroaches in this campus. Whilst they have the chance to look for food in dustbins, we only survive on blood from the students. So if all the students are sent home, how are we expected to survive?” He further added failure to meet their demands would lead to a bloody riot, biting any human being on site. They especially targeted custodians, who would remain in the halls even after the students are sent home. They further accused the staff at the university halls of residence of using uncouth means to eliminate them, that is, using insecticides.

However, sources close to the bedbugs who opted to remain anonymous yesterday informed us that ever since the students got back, peace and joy has been restored to the Kunguni kingdom. They said that they were no longer languishing in hunger since their ‘food’ was in plenty. “We are happy that the students are back, even healthier. We are therefore assured of unlimited food supply for the rest of the year,” said one of them. They are especially happy that the ‘freshers’ are in school, since this means they will be feasting on fresh blood. “We also want to benefit from the ongoing ‘gold rush’,” added one member cheekily.

BY Josephine Otieno