They will always come up to you with pickup lines like, ‘you are the only 50 bob in my wallet.’ The 50 bob part is literal by the way. And that is supposed to get you to ingia box.


The first date they take you to that kibanda is not a test to measure how humble you can get in tough situations. it is a taste of what you will be receiving as your daily bread.


He will never grow up! Fake Nike Air Max sneakers and blings will always be his goals in life. Do yourself a favour and find a man who will be asking, ‘where are we building today?’


Sapiosexual? Nope,not even close. Intellectual conversations will be like a needle in a haystack. Maybe if you want to talk about that kukachorea topic; whatever that means.

Young woman rolling her eyes

Brace yourself for a lifetime of trouble and danger. He will always involve you in meaningless havoc, unrest and chaos. From gang fights to reckless police arrests.

144240722541505 (4)

Second generation is close to what you will be sipping on every time he wants to turn up in that ratchet ka-local he calls a club.


So next time you want to date a guy from Eastlando, just remember these pointers. Are you a guy from Eastlands? Tell us what you think below.