HOW TO WIN SONU POLITICS

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I recently spoke to an influential student in UoN politics (name withheld). Since he’s very conversant with SONU politics, I asked him his views on the same.
His answer was very interesting; I just had to share it. These were his words:
“10 RULES OF WINNING IN SONU POLITICS”

1.Deal ruthlessly with your opponent

2. Think like a chairman, act like a congressman

3. SONU is goonship, embrace & feed goons

4. Campaign vigorously among ladies, they preserve their loyalty

5. Use propaganda to create euphoric following especially among 1st years

 

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6. Speak populist politics. Say only what comrades want to hear

7. Seek endorsements from influential student leaders, never from admin.

8. Have good posters, fliers, banners etc. Also, tear down your opponent’s posters, fliers and banners whenever you get the chance

9. Never declare your candidature before securing enough cash.

10. Never miss an opportunity to cheat during the SONU elections…be on the good books of relevant commissioners.”

stude3

After the answers he gave me, I was as perplexed as I was amused. Needless to say, SONU politics requires tact, skill and courage.

Ajossie McOtieno

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